Grief & Loss Counselling - Adelaide

Types of Grief 

Although there are many different kinds of grieving, the following are some of the more frequent ones: anticipatory grief is the feeling of loss before the real loss has happened. "Normal" grieving is the term used to describe the typical grief that follows loss; nevertheless, it is not a very helpful term because there is no "normal" way to grieve. Long-term mourning that gives rise to more serious psychological or emotional issues is referred to as complicated grief. sorrow that is experienced in private, hidden from those around you, is known as disenfranchised sorrow. An example of this would be the loss of a pregnancy that was unknown to others.

Common responses to grief

Everybody experiences grief differently, and it can take many different forms. It's possible that you're going through stages of grief that you're not even aware of in terms of emotions or actions.

According to the Department of Health, some of the most common reactions to grief are:

• Feelings of disbelief, confusion, anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, guilt and relief
• Sleep disturbances
• Loss of appetite.

Other common responses to grief can include: 

• Depression
• Loss of concentration
• Mood swings
• Lack of interest in daily life
• Numbness 
• Shock

Emotions related to grief can be complicated and perplexing. For instance, some people feel regret or shame for not spending more time with one other, while others may feel relieved that a loved one is no longer in pain. Even though they had no influence over the person's departure, other individuals may experience unreasonable rage towards them.

It might be confusing to deal with all of these responses and difficult to continue about your everyday life. They are, in part, a typical aspect of the grieving process, and certain issues require time to get better. However, you should get assistance if your grief is preventing you from leading a fulfilling life.

 

What is the process of grief? 

The Victorian Government’s Better Health Channel points out that, “grief is a process and not an event.” Grief is a very personal experience, and it’s a non-linear process, but there are common threads and themes that a lot of people experience.  You may have heard of the “five stages of grief”, a theory coined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, that posits that grieving people go through a series of ‘stages’ on the path to acceptance of loss. In Kübler-Ross’s model, the stages are:

• Denial – a refusal to accept that the loss has actually happened
• Anger – anger that the loss has happened to you
• Bargaining – an irrational process of negotiating: “if x then I’ll y”, to bring the person back
• Depression – deep sadness 
• Acceptance – finally, a sense of acceptance that the loss has happened.

Even though these phases could help you understand some of the emotions you go through following a loss, it's vital to remember that this model is no longer thought to be true, is extremely basic, and was created to describe individuals who were dying rather than grieving.

Grief is now understood to be erratic and capable of taking on a wide range of unexpected shapes. You might go through some, all, or none of these phases; you might also have complex feelings that the model does not cover. Because they could make you feel guilty or perplexed if your experience doesn't fit the mold, basic conceptions of grief can be detrimental. The body of knowledge about the psychology of sorrow is always growing. Other, more recent hypotheses exist regarding grief.

 

Grief counselling in Adelaide

Specialist grief counselling can be delivered by trained practitioners, whether they’re exclusively grief counsellors, or generalist counsellors and psychologists with experience in the space. There are lots of support options and resources available to help you through your grief. Life Supports has a network of trained counsellors, some of whom are specifically trained in grief and loss and have many years of client experience.  Though not always necessary, it can help to have someone specially trained in grief and loss, as they have extensive knowledge in how to tailor support to each individual.

What does grief counselling look like? 

 

Grief counselling will vary based on both the practitioner’s skills and preference, and the client’s needs. There are a number of useful approaches. Grief counsellors will often ask you to talk them through the death – and the life – of the person lost, as well as your own emotions about it. Grief counselling will generally involve at some stage confronting what’s happened head-on. There are a number of techniques grief counsellors may use to help you. 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – is a type of therapy that focuses on reframing issues and emotions, so that they become manageable. CBT for grief is designed to help you reconcile the loss of a loved one with a new life without them. Some techniques involved in CBT include: 

• Graded exposure to avoided or feared situations – exposure over time, in a gentle and controlled manner, to confronting or challenging thoughts
• Increasing pleasant events – cultivating moments of joy, happiness or simple contentment in life
• Challenging unhelpful or irrational thoughts (termed ‘maladaptive’ in practice) –developing responses to complicated or unhelpful thoughts like anger, guilt or self-hatred.

Other therapies and methods 

 

Other therapies and methods can include:

• Traditional talk therapy, which means building a trusted relationship with a counsellor and over time discussing your emotions and experiences of grief with that person
• Complicated grief therapy is an evidence-based psychotherapy model designed to address the symptoms of ‘complicated’ grief, i.e. grief in which emotions are bound up in conflicting, difficult and counter-productive thoughts and feelings. It has roots in CBT and prolonged exposure therapy (the repeated telling of the story of loss), as well as focusing on personal goals
• Acceptance and commitment therapy is a type of therapy founded on the principle that suffering is a core part of the human experience, and focuses on reconfiguring your relationship with suffering so that you can come to accept it, and find some meaning and contentment while within it.

How can I cope with grief?

 

Everyone experiences grief; it's a fact of life, but it doesn't make it any easier. A grief counsellor will inform you, among other things, that you cannot completely eradicate grief. You can, however, employ coping mechanisms to manage the highs and lows that accompany a profoundly felt loss.

 

Grief Counselling

 

Counselling is one of the best things you can do to support the grieving process. Helping people process loss and regain quality of life can be achieved through professional mental health treatment provided by qualified counsellors and therapists. This approach is supported by research. You can get assistance from grief counsellors in a variety of methods, such as:

• Working through pain 
• Coming up with practical strategies to manage suffering
• Reframing memories so that you can think about your loved one without it being unbearable
• Learning to enjoy life again

Life Supports has a number of highly trained, qualified counsellors and therapists who specify in grief and loss. They’ll work with you to come up with a strategy to help you cope, build resilience and even maybe find a little joy in life.

At home

There are also steps you can take in your personal life to help you cope with grief and loss:

• Acknowledge your suffering
• Seek support from friends and family 
• Support your mental health by keeping your physical health in check – exercising, eating healthy foods, and keeping up a solid sleep schedule if you can
• Pay attention to your feelings – notice them, sit with them, and if you feel as though what you’re experiencing is moving beyond grief towards depression or otherwise unmanageable emotions, seek professional help.

Finding meaning in loss

Finding meaning in loss and trauma may seem unattainable, but numerous psychologists who have written about the subject suggest that it's a crucial and beneficial step in the mourning process. Bereavement can teach you more about yourself and other people, increase your empathy, provide others more support, and strengthen your emotional fortitude. It can compel you to address more profound life issues, leading to a more purposeful way of living.

Grief is intense and painful because love and care are great and beautiful. Grief changes your perspective on life and imbues it with insight, awe for existence, and the complexity of what it means to be a truly connected human. Grief counselling can assist us in giving the voice and memories of the departed person priority while maintaining enough momentum to continue moving forward. This is not to mean that you have to strive to find the good in your loss.

If you’re suffering a loss, you may benefit from professional mental health support. At Life Supports, we have plenty of caring, professional counsellors and therapists in Adelaide who will help you to work through your suffering in a constructive, healthy way.

For appointments or enquiries, please call 1300 735 030 or leave us an email via our contact page.